If I can't trust myself, who do I trust?

“Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” 

-Proverbs 3:5-6

I have read this verse probably a 1,000 times. I could quote it in my sleep. I have used this verse in another blog I wrote about trust. I would go as far as to say I could have probably recited it to you when I was 3 years old, but tonight, when I read it, something changed in me.

As I was reading this verse, I came to part that said, “Lean NOT on your own understanding.” Then it hit me. Maci, I know what you have been doing wrong for the last 24 years. I have been leaning on my own understanding. I have read this verse and read this verse. I have prayed and prayed that I could trust God with ALL of my heart. That has truly been one of my biggest goals this past year, but I just realized that I was leaning on my own understanding.

You see, this verse clearly tells us not to do this. So, if I don’t lean on my own understanding, what should I do? If I can't trust myself, who do I trust? I should lean on God’s understanding. Then, He spoke to me. His understanding of the ways things happen or the plans for my life are not what I can even fathom yet. That’s why it tells me not to lean on my understanding. If I try to lean on my own understanding. I am going to be a hot mess of confusion, doubt, worry, and anxiety because I don’t know the things God knows. I don’t understand the things He understands. I don’t see the big picture. I see today.

Then, I thought about so many women in the Bible and how their stories would have been different, if they had tried to lean on their own understanding, instead of God’s. Ruth would not have met Boaz. Esther would have not saved her people. Sarah would not have given birth to Isaac. Mary would have never given birth to mine and your Savior, Jesus Christ. All of these women had to trust God with ALL of their hearts and that meant leaning on God and not themselves. WOW!! And to know how amazing each one of their lives played out. I want to be like these ladies. I want to put all of my own ways away and trust that God has me in His ways.

I hope others are reading this tonight and thinking the same thing as me. I am hoping that someone else needed this ah-ha moment from God tonight like I did. Tonight, I am leaning on God’s understanding and not my own. I hope that you are encouraged to do this in your with God journey as well!

P.S. I taped this verse on the mirror in my room as my daily reminder to trust God with ALL of my heart. I encourage you to tape this verse on your mirror and see how your perspective changes!