It's not always good

Life is hard. I mean life is REALLY hard sometimes. Anyone else feel this way? 

These past few weeks have been particularly hard for me. I have been in a deep struggle with myself. I wonder when things will get better. I pray and pray for things to get better, but if I am being honest, things have not gotten better. I used to be so scared to write from the place I’m in now. I always thought people wanted to be encouraged and that they didn’t want to see the real me. The hurt me. However, God then opened my eyes and said, Maci, “Write from your place of hurt and suffering because you are not alone.  Other people who are reading this are hurting, too.” So, here I am sitting on my living room couch with tears running down my face, being brave and writing from that place. 

God is good even when things don’t feel good. “Shall we accept the good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10) I don’t know about Job, but it has always been much easier for me to accept the good. However, recently my eyes have been opened to the fact that sometimes God has to break me to change me. I think Lysa TerKeurst said it best, “ We don’t think about fixing things until we realize they were broken.” In my life, and maybe yours too, I knew something wasn’t right but it took me being broken to realize God has to be the One to fix me. I know God wants what’s best for me, but I don’t know how long I will have to wait for that best. Does anyone else feel that way? You know He is a good God, but it seems cruel for withholding the good things from his children. 

Another job passed you by...

Another one of your friends got married and you prayed and prayed for your husband.....

Another person is pregnant and you have been trying for months to have children.....

Another Thanksgiving without a special loved one you dearly miss....

Another Christmas where everyone else’s kids are getting AirPods and you can barely afford a tree for yours....

Another report of cancer from the doctor.... 

It all seems unfair doesn’t? Why would a God that is so good, let things be so bad? 

Then, I remembered something I read by Lysa TerKeurst. “God loves me too much to answer my prayers at any other time than the right time and in any other way than the right way.” When I read this, it hit me like a ton of bricks. God isn’t holding out on me.  He is setting me up for something better. He is calling me to trust Him in the pain, heartache, and suffering. He is calling me to let go of the negative thoughts and comparison and to know He is writing my story. A much more glorious story than I could ever write. He has chosen me to do something only I can do and if He gives it to me before I’m ready, then I could not fulfill His plans. So, He allows me to suffer but He is still standing right there beside me, holding my hands saying, I will never leave you nor forsake you, Maci Hope Swindle. You are mine and will always be mine.

I hope whoever is reading this can insert their own name into this. I will never leave you nor forsake you (insert your name). You are mine and will always be mine. 

Job could not see how his journey was going to unfold. He was living though his pains just like I’m living through mine and your living through yours. However, Job and I do have something in common. The same God that restored Job is the same One restoring me today. I know if God made Job’s life more than he could ever imagine, God will do that same thing for you and me. 

Job said, Shall we accept the good from God, and not trouble? (Job 2:10) Sometimes the only way to get to the good is to slowly walk day by day through the trouble and to always remember the good is coming, but first I must trust He is making me better. 

I hope, today, you know God is setting you up for something way better than you could ever imagine. Your time is coming to be restored and made well. I pray that you will keep pressing on and know that your God is walking this journey with you.