Tuesday, February 21, 2017

I don't see myself

Have you ever looked in a mirror and seen your reflection, but it does not even look or feel like you? You have become so caught up in chasing a job, a marriage, a boy, a girl, friendships, or popularity that you forgot whom you really are. I recently realized this about myself. I was so caught up in chasing something that I wanted to be my everything that I forgot whom I truly was. When I looked in the mirror, I did not see Maci Hope Swindle, a girl who is constantly striving to please Jesus. I saw Maci Hope Swindle, a girl becoming consumed by the thrill and excitement of this world. I didn’t like what I saw anymore. I used to like the person I was, but I got so caught up in trying to be someone that I am not, that I lost myself along the way. This has happened many times in the Bible, too. David was so caught up in Bathsheba that he lost who he was by trying to fix the mess he created. Sarah was so caught up in the mess she created with her maidservant, Hagar that she lost herself, as well. I bet when both David and Sarah looked in the mirror that they did not see themselves either. Just like Sarah and David, I had created a mess in my own life and the only person who could fix it was God. I was trying so hard to change the girl God had created me to be. I was talking with one of my close friends at school, telling her about my struggle and how I had been feeling. She said, “Maci, it sounds like you’re trying to be Play-Doh instead of a puzzle piece.” I looked at her all crazy for a minute. She said, “You’re trying to be like Play-Doh and form to be what other people want you be, but you have forgotten that you are your own puzzle piece that fits into the right people’s lives, just the way you are and you do not need to change.” Then it hit me, I am a puzzle piece and I should not have to be anything other than myself.

Maybe someone who is reading this feels the same way as I did. Maybe you are turning into a version of yourself that you don’t like. Maybe you are trying to be Play-Doh, instead of a puzzle piece. I am here today to tell you - STOP!!! It feels so much better to be the girl that God created me to be, rather than to be the girl I was trying to make myself become. I have found my joy again - MY joy that comes from a Savior who gave up everything for me. I encourage you to shed the life that is bringing you down and pick up the one with Jesus that brings you indescribable joy and peace. You are precious just the way you are! You are loved just the way you are! You are adored just the way you are! You are pursued just the way you are! So please, do not change yourself… just be who God created you to be.

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. 
Romans 12:2


Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.
Galatians 1:10




P.S. Thank you to all my friends and family that remind me to just be myself! :) 

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